The Fellowship set out and soon found themselves up a big mountain with lots of snow. Legolas, being a hot elf, could easily walk on the snow.
They got all stuck in the snow and discovered evil Saruman was trying to knock down the mountain or something stupid like that. So Frodo made the wise decision that they go through the Mines of Moria instead. They got to the gate and Gandalf stopped to have *another* pipe while he decided how the hell to open the fecking gate.
Just then, a huge and most definitely evil monster appeared out of the conveniently placed lake by the gate. It took Frodo because it was drawn to the Ring's evilness. Aragorn slashed it with his sword, Legolas used his unconvincing card bow to shoot it with arrows and Boromir gave it a good whack with the Horn of Gondor.
They all ran inside the Mine gate away from the evil Watcher in the Water once Gandalf figured out how to open it in an extremeley tense dramatic moment. They get inside, only to find the whole place as dead as a roadkill kipper. They got chased by orcs until they met a Balrog (shadow-flame monster) which scared away all the orcs (hurrah!) and then tried to kill Gandalf (nooo!). Gandalf cast it into an abyss (yay!)
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